The Xehanorts' Plan
by WilyGryphon
Summary: The four main incarnations of Xehanort lay out their plan of attack, only to realize that there might be a few flaws.


The Xehanorts' Plan

Master Xehanort (who shall henceforth be labeled as MX), Ansem (Seeker of Darkness), Xemnas, and Young Xehanort (who shall henceforth be labeled as YX and addressed in-character as Kiddo and Junior) stand atop their spires in the meeting circle in the Keyblade Graveyard.

Ansem: I always wondered about your predilection toward high stations at uneven levels.

Xemnas: It is so everyone knows their place in the Organization's hierarchy.

YX: There was a hierarchy? I lost track after Xigbar's position.

Ansem: And how did any of you expect to hold a conversation with Vexen, at his level? Especially from across a hundred-foot-wide room?

MX: Admittedly, some administrative measures were shortsighted.

Ansem: Half of the Organization turned traitor. That's a bit of an understatement. Also, NOW WE'RE EVEN FARTHER APART! And one wrong foot-shuffle will send us to our doom!

MX: That's one of the reasons you have Corridors of Darkness.

YX: Besides, it's not like anyone other than tight-knit cliques show up here anyway.

Xemnas: Well, we have suitable members now, so our operation should be perfect.

Ansem: We brought Marluxia, Larxene, and freakin' Demyx back! I don't see how that's perfect!

YX: What are they going to do? Get Sora to do what they say?

Xemnas: And since we have our Riku Replica and Xion一

Ansem: Who?

Xemnas: That joke's getting old.

Ansem: Hang on. If no one remembers her, how were you able to bring her back? How did you know to bring her back?

Xemnas: Vexen remembered it, somehow. Just be patient. I'm sure a proper explanation will be presented.

YX: Don't hold your breath. I'm still trying to make sense of time travel, and I abuse that power shamelessly.

MX: Enough squabbling. Soon enough, the Seven Guardians of Light will come to engage us, and the χ-blade will be forged!

Ansem: You expect them to just do exactly what we're telling them to do, even knowing that it's exactly what we want?

Xemnas: It worked when Saïx told them to fight more Heartless, and then told them that doing so would help us.

Ansem: And then they sped up their agenda to find your stronghold and kill you.

MX: Precisely.

Ansem: What I'm saying is that anyone in their right mind would want to not do that.

…

…

YX: You _are_ talking about Sora and company, correct?

MX: Well, if they fail to gather their Seven Lights and enter the battle, we will simply go after the New Seven Hearts.

Ansem: Then why don't we just do that? We already captured the last batch of Princesses with almost no trouble. We can give them swords or something and then fight them, two-on-one for the most part.

YX: We don't exactly know who the New Seven Hearts are. That's probably the point of having their Lights switch hosts. So we can simply use the ones Marluxia and Larxene already found as backups if there are any Guardians that are missing.

Xemnas: And threat of harming them would entice the Guardians to come to the battleground.

Ansem: Fair point. So, what is the strategy for actually fighting them?

MX: Hehehe. First, we will send Terra to attack them when their guard is down.

YX: Won't their guard be up? You know, because of the war?

MX: Terra, the Terra possessed by me, naturally, will appear as a not-possessed Terra, to distract Ventus and Aqua.

Ansem: Shouldn't they already know that he is under your control? Hang on, weren't you both recompleted? How are you here and him down wherever but still possessed by you?

MX: Terra's heart is sealed within your Guardian.

Ansem: ...Oh, right. I'd forgotten about that.

MX: So, Me-Terra will attack them and knock them out.

YX: Aren't most of them Keyblade Masters? Will he even get that far?

MX: He has super speed now, so he'll do it before they even react.

Xemnas: Seriously? And you never thought to teach us that power? Do you even have that power?

MX: No. I reserved it specifically for him, for just that one minute.

YX: I feel as though we could make things a lot easier if we actually had the power to defeat them all in a fraction of a second.

MX: Well, I only have enough Sprint Shoes for that, so tough luck, Junior.

Ansem: So, what will happen if they manage to survive Terranort's attack?

YX: Are we really calling him that?

Ansem: It's just easier to say. And this is coming from someone with the official name of "Ansem, Seeker of Darkness". It gets really confusing when you throw the real Ansem into the mix and he pretends to be me.

MX: Whatever we decide to call him, we'll simply kill them all with the Demon Tornado.

Ansem: You mean like the Demon Tide, but a ****ton bigger?

MX: Exactly like that. They won't stand a chance.

YX: So, then, how are we going to forge the χ-blade?

MX: Pardon?

YX: Depending on how many Guardians Terranort defeats, we'll get that amount of Light Keyblades, and his contribution nets us one Dark Keyblade from him. But if the battle's over right after that, we'll be at least twelve Keyblades short.

MX: Um, well, I sorta hired the million Shadows for this scene of utter despair, and I still want to make our enemies feel that. So, we're going to have to find a workaround for that.

YX: [Sigh] Well, I guess I should hope that my past-future colleague is/was/will be good at cheating at chess.

Ansem: So, let's say they get to actually fight us. What then.

MX: Well, two or three of us will fight two or three of them. Then, at the end, Sora will end up fighting us all.

Ansem: {horrified} Wait, Sora will actually get to fight us?

MX: Yes. And either he'll defeat you and clash with me and create the χ-blade, or we win and create the χ-blade.

Xemnas: That is a horrible idea! He _will_ defeat us and make room for more!

YX: Last we saw, he had lost all of his powers.

Ansem: And last Xigbar saw, he ran straight up the side of a mountain and fought FOUR Titans. Besides, he lost his powers when he went through Castle Oblivion, didn't he? And Xemnas knows how that ended.

MX: How did it end, Xemnas?

Xemnas: He carved through Xigbar, Luxord, and Saïx, then, with Riku's help, vanquished me in a multi-stage battle that involved outracing the force of a black hole, destroying a spaceship, and blasting me to smithereens with a beam of light. And you saw him the next time he fought me, right, Junior? He defeated me all by himself.

MX: Ouch. How did you lose to him, Ansem?

Ansem: He fought me with such strength and skill that I was forced to seal myself off to recover, destroyed my monstrous vessel piece by piece, then fought me directly again until I was barely holding onto life. Then I tried to gain the upper hand by absorbing the dark power from Kingdom Hearts.

MX, Xemnas, and YX look at each other in utter confusion.

YX: But Kingdom Hearts is light.

Ansem: Well, I know that _now_!

YX: Everyone knows that. It's the first thing you read when you open a history book. See?

YX conjures a history book, opens it to the first page of the "Introduction" chapter, then lets it float over to Ansem for him to read.

YX: Page 1. "Kingdom Hearts is light." Right there in black and white.

Ansem: Huh. I must've skimmed over that one.

MX: {in disbelief} You're ME! How did you not know that?!

_Flashback to a point when Ansem was floating around as a phantom heart, kept company only by the shadow of his Guardian which conveniently kept the shape of his hooded robe. On Ansem's Station of Awakening, a phantom materialized behind Ansem, whispering into his ear._

_Terra: Kingdom Hearts is darkness. Kingdom Hearts is darkness. Kingdom Hearts is darkness._

_Ansem: Okay. I believe you._

_Terra: (Hehe. Sucker. I don't know if this will pay off, but if anything, it will be worth it to see the look on his face when he realizes that Kingdom Hearts is light.)_

Ansem: No idea.

Xemnas: Something that should also be considered is that Riku had never lost his powers and he managed to defeat you, Kiddo. Right after defeating Ansem again.

YX: And Chernabog.

MX, Ansem, Xemnas: HE WHAT?!

Xemnas: Okay, new plan! Keep Riku out of the actual fight as much as possible!

Ansem: We might do well to make sure that meddlesome king contributes as little as possible, too.

YX: I have no complaints.

Ansem: So, tell us about the last part of the fight.

MX: Well, once I have the χ-blade, I will corrupt Kingdom Hearts and cause it to rain darkness on the worlds.

Ansem: HA!

MX: If they need extra incentive to fight me, we'll simply kidnap Kairi.

Xemnas: Let me stop you right there. No. That is a bad idea.

YX: What are you getting at?

Xemnas: I get that the plan is to rile him up into a fight, but we'll be riling him up too much. When Saïx kidnapped Kairi before, that only gave him further incentive to find our stronghold and destroy us.

Ansem: Isn't she a Guardian of Light, too? They probably have her and Axel in some time-distorted world to train so they can fight alongside Sora and the others. I can't imagine it being easy.

YX: Well, I already proved that Keyblade wielders tend to not successfully fight back when they are grabbed by the wrist.

Ansem: Well, I only met the girl once. I don't know if she's as dumb as Sora or if she has any common sense. Even then, she will still fight back at the first opportunity.

MX: Then I'll just kill her.

Xemnas blinks. Ansem widens his eyes in shock.

Ansem: Yeah. You're ******.

MX: No, this is definitely going to work. The χ-blade will be forged, and Kingdom Hearts will be mine! …Ours? Let's see… you're all me, essentially, but you might not make it to the very end, and even if you do, your hearts will have to be sent back to the past eventually… Seriously, what pronoun should I use?

YX: I neither know nor care. Do you have any tricks up your sleeve to ensure that you will overcome Sora?

MX: [chuckles] You have a lot to learn, kiddo. But you'll have plenty of time. Of course I have a plan. If he proves to be a significant challenge, I will simply use the χ-blade's power to rip the light out of his heart.

Ansem: It can do that?

MX: I mean, I think so. Obviously, I haven't had the opportunity to test it out. But it's not the ultimate, omnipotent Key for nothing.

Xemnas: Removing his light is an interesting idea.

MX: And when that happens, he'll turn into that shadowy Anti-Form, correct? He's unarmed and largely ineffective in that state correct?

Xemnas: That is correct.

_Flashforward to Xehanort doing that very thing to Sora and causing him to enter Rage Form._

_MX: Ha! Come and get me now, punk! Wait, why do you have a Keyblade? And you're… Oh, Xemnas, you lying ****!_

YX: I like this plan.

Ansem: You're starting to win me back over.

Xemnas: Indeeeeeed. With a little refinement, we will surely be victorious. All of our enemies will lay beaten and destroyed at our feet. The Keyblade War will be won. Kingdom Hearts will be achieved. And we shall bless this World with a pure, more balanced new beginning. All will一

YX: Whoa!

MX, Ansem and Xemnas turn to where YX was standing, only for him to be gone. A second later, a Corridor of Darkness forms, and YX reappears. His calm demeanor is replaced with a nervous expression as he cautiously adjusts his footing.

MX: What happened?

YX: Apologies. Xemnas was talking for so long that I fell asleep and fell off of my perch.

Ansem: I told you!

Xemnas: Is something wrong with my manner of speaking?

Ansem: Yes. First of all, would it kill you to inflect once every few syllables? Second, you sound as though you're stretching out each word as long as possible

MX: He's right. Why do you talk so slowly?

Xemnas: Hmm… Let me see…

_Flashback to right before Terranort removed his own heart and became Ansem and Xemnas. Terra pulls him into a Dive to the Heart conference._

_Terra: Okay. When you're leading your Organization, there's a lot of technical stuff you'll need to get across. So, to make sure I… I mean *they* can keep track of everything, I'm going to need you to talk slowly._

_Xemnas: Like this?_

_Terra: Draw it out more, as much as you can. And enunciate everything. We can't have me__一__them losing track of anything. Like, if someone were taking notes. You'll want to make sure they can get it all down._

_Xemnas: Ahem. Is this pace satisfactory?_

_Terra: Great. I knew you could do it._

MX: Alright, that's it! Xehanort! Get over here!

…

…

YX: Which one? Technically, we are all Xehanort, and most of the people who use that name are here.

MX: The Terra one. Terra-Xehanort! Terranort! Whatever! Just get over here! And bring The One Behind with you!

Xemnas: Is that seriously what we're calling it?

Ansem: I think it sounds snazzy.

Terranort appears on a platform via a Corridor of Darkness. His Guardian, the prison of Terra's heart, sprouts up behind him. MX summons his Keyblade, No Name.

MX: Good. Now, it is time to dispose of Terra's meddling heart.

Ansem: Wait. Isn't this wasteland where you took Terra's body?

MX: It is. Why do you ask?

Ansem: And then he still resisted…

…

…

MX's eyes widened in horror. They heard a whirring, like the engine of a vehicle, the sound growing louder as the source came ever closer. They turned to see the Lingering Sentiment, the Keyblade Armor animated by Terra's mind and willpower, sitting aboard its Keyblade Glider. Its helmed face was expressionless, but its aura exuded pure rage. MX, Ansem, Xemnas, and Terranort experienced nightmarish flashbacks to MX's first encounter, while YX came to know fear. The Guardian, though its mouth was bound with bandages, chuckled with a devilish grin.

MX: Meeting adjourned! We need to find a place to hide!

The Xehanorts vanished in Corridors of Darkness, a split second before the Keyblade Glider transformed into Terra's Keyblade and the Sentiment slashed it at the place where MX's neck was.


End file.
